Has anyone ever said to you that life isn’t fair?
I am sure you have been told at one point or another how life isn’t fair, probably by a parent! While this is true, just knowing this fact alone still doesn’t make us feel any better when something that we really want seems to avoid us.
So what can you do when you don’t get what you really want? There are many ways to handle these situations that are far more productive than feeling sorry for yourself and just having a defeatist attitude.
Let’s consider a couple of key things to remember during periods of disappointment when you just feel like life isn’t fair.
Appreciate the real needs you have
Being able to separate the things you need from those that you want is very important in life. Every day, all over the world, there are people who are deprived of even the most basic things that most of us take for granted. It’s not wrong to pursue things other than the basic needs, of course, but try to avoid getting needs and wants mixed up.
If you will look at each situation in which you don’t get something you want, I am certain that if you really think about, you will be able to find something in your life that you DO have that balances it out.
Consider this, if you were to go through life getting everything you wanted, how much do you think you would appreciate those times when you actually do attain a goal you were going after?
Reflect honestly on why you didn’t get what you wanted
As we get older, we all have situations or things we can look back on that didn’t go how we wanted, only to realise that what seemed like a disaster at the time actually turned out to have worked out for the best. Although it might be impossible to see it in the moment, sometimes not getting something serves as a fork in the road which redirects us towards something much better.
Whatever you are feeling like you missed out on, the thing that slipped through your grasp, make an effort to look ahead of you. If you do, you may see that this apparent failure could very well turn out to be to your benefit.
Even if what you wanted may not be harmful or a detriment to your life going forward, the sheer disappointment of falling short can easily provide the motivation you need to go after something even better!
There are countless examples of people achieving fantastic things and accrediting their success to past failures. Edison and his electric lightbulb experiment failures are often quoted here!
So you’ve done these things and still want it? Try again!
Okay, so what if you have done both of these things, but still honestly believe you are supposed to have the thing that avoided you? If this is the case, regroup and try again! Rest assured, most of the things worth having are not going to come easily. If this were the case, they wouldn’t be nearly as fulfilling when we get them.
If something that you didn’t get or achieve is constantly troubling your mind, this may very well be a sign that it is meant for you, just not right now. Only you can determine whether or not something is right for you.
However, once you have made the decision that it is, be ready to fight for it! I could insert any number of motivational quotes such as “fall seven times, stand up eight” or “fail forward,” but the fact is, the life of a successful individual is filled with failures.
It is how you deal with these failures that separates winning in the long run from going through life resentful and feeling sorry for yourself. Never allow yourself to give up in the pursuit of anything you truly believe is supposed to be yours.
When have you felt that life wasn’t fair to you? Did you end up with something much better after reflection?